I’ve had some time to think about how many times I’ve taken a fall. When I say, Fall, I mean this, you are standing upright, or walking or even sitting and the next thing you know you are on the ground, dazed and embarrassed. 

I am not a stranger to falls. Physically, professionally and emotional; I’ve suffered one fall after another.

Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”

Thank you Prime Minister Churchill. Failure. Falling is not fatal. Those words fom one the the greatest leaders in the 20th Century give me hope…

I’m Gloria Moraga, this is One-On-One, Communications in the Digital Age. 

This Episode is called “The Fall. This is a story about communication with family and doctors and nurses when you are at a disadvantage, when you are lying on the ground, flat on your ass or flat on your back,  because you have had a FALL. 

I am NOT a young woman. I feel 30 in my mind, my body is another story. I had polio as a child, now I’m considered a Senior with medical complications.

I am NOT alone. 

Right now, I’m sitting in a wheelchair, It’s okay. I‘m not in a lot of pain. 

Ah. PAIN, an old enemy. The things pain can do. It’s made many of us drug addicts. We are in a crisis as far as drugs are concerned. PAIN can plunge you into the depths of depression.

 It’s the pain after the Fall that destroys you. 

 Here is the phrase I’ve heard  so much in the last two weeks, One a Scale of 1 to 10 what is your pain level. 

I read an article once about the pain scale. So I know what’s going on, it’s an easy form of communicating with patients. Easy for the doctors and nurses. Not necessarily easier for us, the patients. When I am in a lot of pain and they asked me that question, I wanted to scream, just give me a fricking shot. You see my bruised and battered leg, give me a shot. 

Instead, I respond 9 when I’m in pain and 4 when I’m okay. 

 I’ve been disabled all my life. So I have ways of coping with everything related to my disability. 

I have ways of coping with pain, with doctors and nurses and the medical profession. I have ways of coping with prejudice. With being looked at like you are less than human because I am NOT NORMAL! 

I am not an animal. But when you are different, sometimes you are treated that way.

I also have ways of dealing with family and the people who love me. I don’t want to be a burden, I lie a lot about my fears and pain. And guess what? I am a big fat burden. 

The feeling of being a burden has gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. 

But, what’s also happened as I’ve gotten older is more and more of my peers are also growing old and they are suffering because of injuries, falls, medical problems that put them on my disability level. 

Whereas, I’ve learned to cope; they are just learning how to deal with the medical profession and the feeling of hopeless where your health is concerned.

 Let’s get back to my story. Falls. Here are the sad, unfortunate statistics.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:

• One in four Americans aged 65+ falls each year.
• Every 11 seconds, an older adult is treated in the emergency room for a fall; every 19 minutes, an older adult dies from a fall.
• Falls are the leading cause of fatal injury and the most common cause of nonfatal trauma-related hospital admissions among older adults.
• Falls result in more than 2.8 million injuries treated in emergency departments annually, including over 800,000 hospitalizations and more than 27,000 deaths.
• In 2015, the total cost of fall injuries was $50 billion. Medicare and Medicaid shouldered 75% of these costs.
• The financial toll for older adult falls is expected to increase as the population ages and may reach $67.7 billion by 2020.

 I, Gloria Moraga, have suffered from two falls in the last two years. Both times I broke my right femur, the largest bone in my body. In 2017 I broke the part of the femur that is close to the knee. In August 2018, I broke the femur that is closest to my hip bone.

 As I write this and say it, I am overcome with a feeling of despair and helplessness. Those of you who have suffered with depression know what I’m talking about. It feels like a hot wet blanket is covering my head and body and, it’s like one of those carnival rides that goes up and down and you feel like the bottom has dropped out from under your feet.

I don’t want to fall again. I don’t want another injury. I hate hospitals and doctors, and physical therapists and I now really hate occupational therapists. 

Here are the latest details of my latest fall. 

 It was stupid. It usually is.  I was making tacos. I need to re-shoot my taco video for my Pinch of Mexican website and YouTube Channel. I was at the stove; I was using my crutches to avoid  putting undue stress on my knees. I pivoted to turn to the sink away from the stove, putting my full weight on the right crutch. Mistake number 1. 

and …. BAMB! THIS BITCH WENT DOWN.  I hope that doesn’t offend anybody, calling myself a bitch. I don’t mean anything by it really, its from a movie, SCREAM 2. And I owe myself a little laugh here., 

Quoting movies is just one of my little joys in life. 

As I was falling my mind was racing. Try to catch yourself, don’t land on your knee, fall on your butt. Padding. please don’t break anything. I landed HARD, on my right side on the tile on the kitchen floor. In my heart, I knew I had broken something. I was hoping it was a ligament or a pulled tendon. My pain level was an 11 at least. I just lay there, glad that I had mopped the kitchen floor a couple of days before. Thor, my dog ran over to me, wanting to play. 

I cried. He barked. What I didn’t do was call 911. Mistake #2. Instead, I crawled to the family room sofa, the TV was blaring CNN and some presidential nonsense. I moaned. I propped myself against the sofa. I cried. I did not call anybody for help. Instead, I cried. 

I suffered all night with a pain level of 13 to 20. I called my doctor in the morning, when I told them I had fallen, they said to come in at 1:30 pm. 

I had a new doctor. My hospital is a teaching hospital, I get a new doctor every two years or so. I hate that. This new guy was young, and socially inept. I tried to joke around with him to put him at ease. It didn’t work. He ordered x-rays. It was really difficult to get on the x-ray table but I did it. Pain level. 15.  We had to wait a long time to get the x-ray results. 

Then Dr. Socially-Inept, came in to my little examining room with an older, very annoyed sour-puss of a female doctor. I love women doctors, I just didn’t like this woman. Bottom line: they didn’t “THINK” I had a fracture. 

“You don’t think?” I said. And I swear I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. Or did I? they were waiting for the specialists in orthopedics to look a the x-ray. Young socially inept boy-doctor and Older Woman-sour Puss doctor left.

I waited a long time. Pain level 12, if I didn’t move or breath.

Boy doctor returns, You are going to have to get a CT Scan, he tells me. The orthopedic specialists are sure my femur is fractured. I knew it was fractured. I wanted to scream. But still, I hoped it wasn’t.

Now, here comes the first of many communications issues. Dr. Socially Inept said tells me and my Daughter, you have to go to the main hospital building to get the CT scan. Really???? I say. Do I sound hysterical? I think to myself. We get directions from Dr. Inept. 

I want to drive, I daughter wants to walk, pushing me in a wheelchair. Pain Level 20.

We come out of our exam room and the nurse/receptionist says don’t leave, I’m trying to make your CT appointment. We wait. In the hallway, we are in the way. 

So says, okay, you are set, go to room 1125. Okay, do you have a map, where it that in main hospital. It’s not in the main hospital, it’s here in this building. What? The entire 10 minute conversation with Dr. Socially was a waste of time. The CT was right down the hall. 

What? Pain Level 25.

The one CT Tech was apparently the twin sister of Dr. Sour Puss. Why the hell was I there wasting her time. She asked, “Why did they send you here if you already had an x-ray?”

My Response, “My pain level is at 10.” 

She shut up and asked me to climb onto the table. I crawled out of the wheelchair and onto the table. I felt like I was climbing Everest without oxygen. 

It was more than an hour before young Dr. Socially Inept showed up in my new exam/waiting room. I was on Twitter, reading Stephen King Tweets about Pres. T. 

It’s broken he announced. Why? I stupidly asked. Please let me see the CT Scan.

He fumbled around, he had trouble logging into to the computer. Finally, there was the bad news, in black, gray and dirty white. A tiny crack in my femur, near my hip bone. 

Good News, though it is not displaced. YAY!!!! The bone hadn’t cracked and moved, It was just broken. 

Whoopee, I thought. 

You have to check into the hospital right away. You need surgery.

What? Surgery what about a cast. 

My  upper thigh was black, blue, red and horribly bruised and as expected I had internal bleeding that comes with a bone fracture. We need to put you on blood thinners right away, you could be developing blood clots. 

You need an I-V? 

I was F-ed. Pain level 15. 

We drive to the hospital emergency room. It’s Friday afternoon. It’s a madhouse. The place is heavily guarded. Apparently there have been a large number of robberies at the hospital. Drug Addicts, So, of course, as we reporters and ex reporters like to say, “Security is Tight”

As we try to just get past the guards, I hear my name being called. I said to the guard, they are calling my name. He snapped at me, what is your name, date of birth and last 4. I name blasted over the loudspeaker again. That’s my name, I shouted. 

My daughter calmly told him my name, DOB and Last 4.

Pain Level. 10.

I’m not going to spend a lot of time on the emergency waiting room. It was crowded, dirty and chaotic. There was a bleeding man lying across a couple of chair moaning. A woman in a wheelchair in a wired brain apparatus was talking quietly to an older man. Children were crying. Another old man was moaning. 

I felt an overwhelming sadness. 

They called my name again; the 3rd time in five minutes.

I rolled over to station 1. I’m Gloria, I said. Great, we’ve been calling you, why didn’t you check in? I wanted to mess with you I said, I daughter said, we were in the restroom.

Name, DOB and last 4?  Pain Level? 10.

A nurse appeared from the back area. She said this way. What is your name and DOB? She cheerfully asked.  I told her. How are you she asked? “Blessed,” I responded.

And a little broken. A fractured femur was nothing compared to some of the people in the waiting room.

I spend 12 hours in the emergency room. My bed was parked between two inmates. On one side two really, really, really attractive cops talked to their prisoner about music, sports and life in prison and the environment. One of the officers left to get drinks and began complaining about the paper straw. “why do we have stupid paper straws, I need a real straw. 

Someone said, “for the environment.”

I yelled out, “straws kill sea turtles.”

What about the syringes from the drug addicts all over the street someone else yelled. Do they kill turtles?

I hate these paper straws the cop said again.

“Man up, I said. Use the paper straws for the Sea Turtles. Get over IT!

 The convict in the other bed, became agitated.

Maybe he doesn’t like Sea Turtles.

 He decided he didn’t want the IV in his arm any more. He pulled the needle out of his arm as the nurse was standing next to him, blood spurted out. She said, you can’t do this. His guards were on their feet in a second. I heard chains come out. The convict began speaking in “Tongues” 

I am in hell, I thought.

I was finally admitted, but there was no room for me in the Inn. I was moved to an old part of the hospital that looks like we could shoot a great horror movie. It really was creepy.

Three young, young  doctors, I’ll call Dr. Moe, Dr. Larry, Dr. Curley. Came in a number of times to examine me and talk about my surgery.  They are orthopedic surgical residence. Still they look like very young Surgical Stooges. 

I don’t want surgery, I announced, just put a cast on my leg and let’s let it heal. 

“Oh, no you need surgery said Dr. Moe.

My bone is brittle and prone to crumble, I reasoned. How are yu going to keep three pins in the bone if it’s so brittle”

“That’s a good point,” said Dr. Curley.

“I want Dr. Vandernakker, to consult,” I insisted. She is the post-polio specialist.

Dr. Larry, said that the best orthopedic surgeon would be consulting with other experts. 

Dr. Vandernakker? I insisted.

We’ll get back to you, said Dr. Moe and they were gone.

I was no longer allowed food or drink. My surgery was scheduled for Saturday. A couple of hours.

So I waited. Shot a couple of videos with my phone and tablet.

I had no food or water for 24 hours. And then, I got bumped out of surgery. Later someone told me another emergency patient took my place in surgery. It was a motorcycle victim. He had broken his leg in five places. His bones were displaced and protruding out of his lacerated skin.

Okay. He was more important.

I finally had surgery two days after I was admitted. I complained to every doctor, nurse and staff member who would listen that my bones are brittle and I had advanced ostropersos in my right leg and it might not hold a pin.

When I was given anesthesia the doctor said to count backwards from 100. 

Instead I said don’t forget about my brittle bone. 

We won’t, Please count Gloria. 

I said, I won’t count. Don’t forget about my brittle leg. 

Then blackness. 

I woke up feeling good. Pain Level. 0. 

Dr. Moe, Larry and Curley were standing by my bed.

What happened? Was it brittle?

Yes. said dr. Moe. When we were inserting the first pin into the femur the bone began to crumble, but we were all alerted to what could happen and we stopped and secured the bone in another area.

I wanted to let you know personally.

“thank you!”  I said.

Thank you, dr. Moe responded. The Surgery went well your bone looks real good. 

I went back to sleep.

I remained in the hospital for 6 days. What a trip. I met some nice nice people and had two roommates. One lovely woman and one horribly nasty woman. 

This is about communications. Let’s review:

At Home:

After I fell, I didn’t call for help or get help. I didn’t tell anyone. Mistake. When I told my daughter, the first words out of her mouth lets go to emergency. I said no, I’m stupid.

When I told my sister, the first words out of her mouth were please go to the doctor, I said no.

When I told my niece, she told me about her friend who fell on a cruise ship, didn’t get an x-ray then died the next day of internal bleeding and a blood clot.

I promised her I would go to the doctor the next day.

I messed up. I need to listen and communicate and go to the doctor, EVERYTIME I FALL. NO EXCEPTIONS. 

At the doctor’s office and in the hospital, I spoke up about my fragile bone and I WAS extremely communicative and vocal, I was the squeaky wheel. The result: I alerted the doctors to my bone health and it helped avoid a disaster in the Operating Room. Good communication produces good results. As a patient, please over communicate. The doctors aren’t infallible. 

Finally, there is this, from the The National Falls Prevention Resource Center

Falls, with or without injury also carry a heavy quality of life impact. A growing number of older adults fear falling and, as a result, limit their activities and social engagements. 

This can result in further physical decline, depression, social isolation, and feelings of helplessness.

Fall prevention strategies are typically recommended for adults older than 65 years.

The rate of deaths after falls is rising for people over 75, a new study shows. But falls are avoidable for most seniors.

I’ve compiled a list of Fall Prevent Tip and links to articles on this growing problem. Please share this episode and the information with someone who is a little older, whom you love. 

I’m working to change my life, so I don’t fall again. But my old friend and former braceman Paul Gregorieff ones said to me, Gloria, its not a matter of IF you will fall again, It’s a matter of when.”

Here are some tip to help all of us AVOID Falling:

• Exercise. Get fit, Or as fit as possible, try yoga and ti Chi

• Be careful with your Medication. Try to get off sleeping pills

• Change your glasses. Don’t use bifocals or progressive glasses cause they alter dept perception.

• No more high heels or open shoes or SLIPPERS!!!

• Eliminate tripping and slipping hazards = NO MORE SMALL RUGS!

• Are you too proud to use a cane or walker? Get over it.

It’s important to learn to communicate with medical professionals. Having important conversations with your doctors is critical. It can mean the difference between a mistake and getting better faster.

 So finally, I will leave you with this quote. 

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Confucius”

I’m Gloria Moraga, this is One-On-One, Communication in the digital age. Please subscribe and share with someone you lov