Depression Sucks

I lost the Month of May to Depression. Depression Sucks!

It has been a month since I’ve written anything more than a Tweet or an Instagram Post.

I’m still in a funk. But I’m coming out of it. I’m determined to soar in June.

 It’s June 3, 2021. I’m Gloria Moraga.

This is One-One-One Communication in the Digital Age.

Let’s talk about Depression. You and me. One-On-One.

Item Number One: Naomi Osaka.

The very brave, talented, strong, beautiful Naomi Osaka.

https://news.yahoo.com/tennis-authorities-violated-law-human-071511519.html

“It is profoundly disturbing that Naomi Osaka felt compelled to withdraw from the French Open, one of tennis’s four Grand Slam tournaments. It is also illegal to make her feel like she needed to withdraw.

The 23-year-old Osaka is the No. 2 female tennis player in the world at the moment. She won the previous two Grand Slams, and she has won four in her young tennis career.

Osaka, who moved to the United States at age three from Japan, struggles with Depression and anxiety. In 2018, she issued a tearful apology during the trophy ceremony after winning (not losing) her first Grand Slam tournament, the U.S. Open, over the American crowd’s favorite, Serena Williams. Williams, who is probably the greatest female tennis player who ever lived, quickly let everyone know – including Osaka, especially Osaka – that the then-20-year-old had nothing for which to apologize.”

What a story! It shows the brutality of Depression and anxiety. And how hurtful people can be. On the other hand, it also indicates that Osaka is very brave. And that Serena Williams is not only the greatest tennis player who ever lived; she is a great human being. A champion off the court, as well as on.

Social Stigma – Mental Illness Stereotypes

Why is it a shame to admit you are depressed? Or that you suffer from anxiety? We all have stress. Some of us realize it. Others bully those who are honest.

See how everything in life comes back around to Communication. One way to help fight Depression is to talk about it. It would be great to admit, “I’m Depressed.” But, unfortunately, right now, in our society, there is still a stigma.

This is from an article from the website Everyday Health, https://www.everydayhealth.com/hs/major-depression/facing-social-stigma-of-depression/.

“Our culture has a fairly rigid definition of what constitutes appropriate behavior, and there is a social stigma associated with Depression,” says Joseph Hullett, MD, senior medical director of clinical strategy for OptumHealth Behavioral Solutions in Golden Valley Minn. “A social stigma, in general, is like the mark of Cain, a label used to identify groups in a society in terms of behavioral traits.” According to Dr. Hullett, social stigmas about Depression often translate to inaccurate stereotypes, such as:

• People with Depression lack willpower.
• Depressed people’s emotions are out of control.
• Depressed people are a danger to others.
• People with Depression are “defective,” like broken machines.
• Depressed people are just whiney and make excuses.
• People with Depression are antisocial.”

ITEM TWO: My Dark Month I am Not Ashamed

I am in the midst of a significant Depression. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. 

I know why I’ve fallen into a deep dark abyss. But, unfortunately, it doesn’t make it any easier.

My trigger is death—the death of a loved one. Unfortunately, my beloved Aunt Gloria passed away at the beginning of 2021.

Her passing,  a year of dealing with Covid, unable to go out much, lack of sleep, lack of exercise, lack of a job to get up and work at every day all collided.

I felt it coming and began meditating longer in the mornings. But, still, I couldn’t sleep. It got worse.

I am not alone.

Millions fight Depression and anxiety.

Millions more suffer from mental illnesses.

I could go on and on. Writing all of the ways I failed at managing my sadness. You get the picture.

The Search for My Chi and Directions to Zen

At one point, as I lay in bed or on the sofa, unable to do much, I thought, “Did I lose my Chi? Where the hell did it go? Chi, Where are you?”

Do you know what I’m talking about? Chi. Pronounced Qe. Or Chi. Like Chi Tea or Chee.

 Taoism (tho-ism) and other Chinese thought Chi is a vital force believed to be inherent in all things. (Is there where George Lucas got the idea of The Force? Has to be. Right? I don’t know.)

Back to the definition of Chi: The unimpeded circulation of Chi and a balance of its negative and positive forms in the body are considered essential to good health in traditional Chinese medicine.

Problems with your Chi can be caused by: “lack of sleep, food, shelter, clean water, fresh air, and other physical elements the human body needs to properly function.

So let’s review: I drink too much diet coke and not enough, I don’t sleep well, my diet has sucked, I’m not getting fresh air. I don’t drink enough water.

Have you ever felt off balance but couldn’t nail down the exact reason why? Chi may be to blame for your fatigue, brain fog, or irritability.

According to experts,  if your qi is out of whack, you may experience these some of these symptoms: fatigue, irritability, hormone imbalance, pain, muscle weakness, Depression, cramping, and stress.”

I am quoting a now,

https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/health/a27079502/what-is-chi-energy/

“Chi is the energy current that runs through our bodies, providing us with circulation, nutrients, and minerals that we need to be whole,” says Taz Bhatia, MD, integrative health expert, founder of CentreSpring MD, and author of Super Woman Rx. “In Traditional Chinese Medicine, chi was thought to be the life force and ultimate measure of one’s vitality.”

Massage, nutritious food, clean water, and acupuncture can help restore the body to its natural, healthy state and to help people generally achieve a state of zen.

I want the State of Zen. So I’m going to get acupuncture. And have a deep massage.

Directions to The State of Zen

Just like the road to good intentions, the path to the State of Zen is littered with emotional landminds. In my case, it’s McDonalds and a $1 buck Diet Coke.

I know what else I need to do to find my Chi and reach Zen.

Give up Diet Coke, and I’m just not ready.

I’m sure Diet Coke destroys Chi.

Maybe not.  One step at a time.

Yes. I would rather be punctured with needles than give up caffeine.

It wasn’t just my Aunties death that resulted in my May 2021 paralysis. There is a long list of issues.

It was being forced into retirement. My business is on a slowdown because of COVID.

I have difficulty walking. My bones are about as strong as a boneless Chicken leg. So there is a definite lack of exercise.

I was depressed about my number of downloads, views, and listeners. 

How superficial can I be?

Very.

I am shallow when it comes to success.

In my television career, success was measured in ratings, and of course, salary.

Now, especially now, success can be measured in retweets, followers, downloads, subscribers. I don’t have many. Am I a failure? Depression says, “Yes, you are a failure, Gloria.”

One-On-One with Depression

I was working on the podcast, but my downloads had slipped from 50 to 100 per episode to about 10 per episode.

What’s the point? I asked myself. Why bother? If I stop, nobody will care.

Not only was the Depression asking these questions, but the Depression was also answering.

Stop working, Depression said. Nobody cares, Depression insists. Give up. You’re a loser. Depression. Depression. Depression.

Here’s more of my One-On-One with Depression:

Depression says, “Maybe people just don’t want to communicate. Maybe people like sitting in a crowded room and scrolling through their phones?” 

Is it fun, right?

And you are too old, Depression screams at me. Look at you, you hag.

I listened to Depression for a month or longer. Maybe all this year.

One of the worst things Depression does is impede your communication skills. None of us really want to talk about it. Just saying, “I’m Depressed,” is extremely difficult. Not only is it embarrassing, but you feel that people are secretly rolling their eyes or judging you. Not talking about it makes it worst. It gives Depression the upper hand.

Depression is Mean and Dumb

As I Struggled through May, somewhere deep down, I knew that Depression not only Sucks. It is dead wrong.

No. I’m not going to feel old, or worthless, or like a loser. Or that nobody wants to communicate. Cause we like not talking to each other.

NO, we don’t.

The answer is No. No, Gloria, people want to communicate.

They want to connect.

And this is the big one, “You are not old!”

 Bill Gates is old. Nobody is telling him to retire. Or quit. Not his wife or his lover.

We all need help. Tips. Suggestions. My podcast.

Then I thought, I need a reboot. Write about something else. Hum???

Maybe do a Crime podcast?

They are popular. I love crime. I love cops. Yes, one of my ex-lovers was a cop. And I know how to tell cop stories.

Write about what you know. That is the “rule.” But, of course, if you are a journalist, you interview people/experts and tell others about what “they” know. 

I love doing that. That’s it. In this podcast, I tell my stories and mistakes and give suggestions, so you don’t make the same mistakes.

So I’m going to keep doing that and talking about Communication. That said, I’m also going to keep talking about politics, social issues, food, and I’m going to throw in a crime podcast episode once in a while.

Item Number Three – Whatever Works

Yea, this is item number Three. This is how I pulled myself out of the Depression. I got both my COVID vaccines. So I feel empowered.

Now, I am going to go out and do things. I am Vaccinated!!! YAY!

I got my nails done a beautiful, glittery pink, I got hair colored a lighter color for summer, and I got new longer curly eyelashes.

Then, I had a great visit with my Sister.

Not seeing my Sister much, or my cousins, visiting my Auntie before she died, or visiting cooks and shooting Pinch of Mexican’s Cooking videos hurt mentally in 2020.

Plan Ahead

I’m making plans for the future.

I’m hoping to do some traveling in the next six months. So I’m developing a plan to reconnect with some of my old friends.

I’ve written down a schedule for writing and posting videos and podcasts and sharing my content on social media and my website.

Having a plan. Staying focused is an excellent way to battle Depression.

I read two articles on ways to improve your mental health.

One article is called “8 Tips for Living With Depression.”

https://www.verywellmind.com/tips-for-living-with-depression-1066834

The other, “Ten Things You Can Do for Your Mental Health.” https://uhs.umich.edu/tenthings

I’ll share the links to these articles. But I want you to know, I’ve tried all these things. Try them. It can’t hurt.

Build a Support Network

Reduce Your Stress

Learn How to Stop Negative Thoughts

Don’t Procrastination

Clean your house. I am doing this now, and it is helping. I’m throwing old broken things away—sorry, Landfill.

Learn what soothes you.

Cuddling your pet, listening to your favorite music, taking a warm bath, or reading a good book.

Drink water. Eat better. Breathe. Learn Yoga. Don’t fall when you are learning Yoga.

Love yourself.

Create To-Do Lists, then work through them. Keep busy. Listen to, share, and download my podcast!!!

Love yourself.

I’m Gloria Moraga; talk to each other, Communicate.

If you are depressed, tell someone. And tell someone you Love them.

And finally, again, for the third time, Love yourself.

I LOVE YOU!